Tackling Tinder: Dating Online

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This is a blog post about my experience using the app Tinder. I am a cisgendered heterosexual female, and this is my experience. I am not speaking on behalf of everyone using Tinder, and don’t wish to speak or comment on anyone else’s experiences using the app. All comments, stories, and experiences are welcome and appreciated. Also, I am not sponsored by Tinder. This is just an account of my own experiences.

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I’ve been on Tinder twice in my life. Once, right now, and the second time was six months ago. Before signing up, I was really nervous, because of the reputation that Tinder has for being an app primarily for hookups and dick pics. Still, I thought I best give it a chance, as if I never try I won’t know.

So six months ago I made an account and started swiping. First of all, most of the guys on there seemed like genuine profiles, and quite a few of them had stated in their bio section “not just here for hookups” which I was surprised about. Another thing I was surprised about was that I actually matched with people. I was quite liberal with my ‘right swipe’ thinking “oh, he’s cute. But he probably won’t match with me” and it turns out a lot of them did. In my first week on Tinder, I racked up about fifty matches. As someone who has always been quite self-conscious and awkward in the dating game, it’s safe to say it was a massive ego boost.

And I actually met someone too! Carter*, who was gorgeous, funny and into all the same things as me. I’ve never hit the ground running with someone as much as I did with Carter and we had a really good time getting to know each other. It didn’t work out romantically but we remain great friends, and he was part of the reason I decided to go back on Tinder. If I could find someone like him, who I clicked with so instantly, then surely it would be worth going back and seeing who else I could meet.

So I did. I re-downloaded the app and remade a profile.

Clare, 25, Supervisory Assistant, Studied at the University of Winchester.

Once again, most of the guys on there were genuine, looking to meet people and talk, nothing serious but nothing casual either. People like me, seeing who’s out there. The first three days I was on Tinder again, I matched with about twenty people, which I was very flattered and boosted by.

Would I recommend Tinder to a friend? Absolutely. Although I have a life, I lead a simple life. I get up, go to work, come home from work, potter around the house, maybe do some laundry, maybe go to Tesco… but of course, I’m not looking for a potential match in Tesco. I’m staring at a jar of green olives and a jar of black olives, wondering which one I should get and asking myself why they don’t do a tin of mixed olives?! So Tinder, in some ways, seems like the way forward. I get to meet and chat with people I wouldn’t have met if I hadn’t signed up. People from a few towns over whose paths I would never have crossed.

I think that’s pretty awesome.

(I will, however, mention that most profiles I’ve seen, people really love to travel, love to ski and snowboard and like to put their height in their bio section! Some people might not write anything at all, and if you match with someone, they might not ever message you. And with some profiles, thanks to pictures with more than one person in, you might not know who said profile belongs to!)

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*Names have been changed to protect identities.

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Netflix and Chill: My Week with TV

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I spend a lot of time on Netflix, like most of the population, and I love nothing more than sitting in front of my laptop binge-watching my favourite shows. In fact, I take pride in my well crafted TV Schedule that keeps me ticking over for weeks on end, (until the mid-season finales and season breaks, that is.) You may thing a schedule is incredibly sad, but this is coming from the girl who does monthly lists of her top five/ten/fifteen favourites. And I’m a Virgo, get over it.

Sunday

Once Upon a Time

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If someone were to say, ‘Clare, we’re going to create a TV show just for you‘, I would have chosen something along the lines of Once Upon a Time. Fairy tale characters in the real world? Totally up my ally. The huge ensemble cast of the show and the varied characters not only from fairy tales but from Oz, Neverland and Wonderland, are what makes thing show so special.

Monday

The Fosters

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I watched The Fosters, firstly, for the diversity it brought to television. Then, as I got more invested, I watched it for Callie and Wyatt. Now, I still watch it for the diversity in the show and I live in hope that Callie and Wyatt will get back together and Callie will forget all about Brandon and we’ll all pretend like it never happened. Okay? Okay.

Tuesday

Finding Carter

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Sadly it was recently announced that, Finding Carter is not being picked up for a third season, but I wanted to give this beloved show an honourable mention.

I used to watch Kathryn Prescott in Skins many years ago, and I spent most of the first season marveling at her slick American accent. Although I love Max/Taylor as much as the next person, I’m still hoping for Max/Carter to drive off into the sunset like a teenage Bonnie and Clyde. Although the show has wandered far from it’s original premise, there’s something lovable about these characters that keeps me coming back.

Also on a Tuesday is:

Pretty Little Liars

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Although the Big A mystery is over, (and we’re all still not sure quite WTF happened in that episode), our Pretty Little Liars continue convince themselves that telling the truth will get them killed for another season and a half. I’m just hoping we get a bit more backstory/information re: the first five and a half seasons because let’s be honest, we’re all a little bit confused. That being said, it’s the PLL quintet of friendship that keeps us watching, especially after the scene where they all said goodbye before college. Don’t talk to me. I’m welling up.

Wednesday

Catfish: The TV Show

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My non-fiction pick of the week. For me, the mystery side of the show is what appeals to me (along with Max and Nev’s bromance), and whether or not the the love interest is Catfish-ing or not. I’m always thinking up wild ideas of who could be behind the profile before the reveal the identity, but some of them are so bizarre you just couldn’t call it.

Thursday

How to Get Away with Murder

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I wanted to watch this originally because of Alfred Enoch who starred as the lovable Dean Thomas in the Harry Potter movies. Then, when I watched the Pilot, I was hooked on the mystery that surrounded the Keating Five and binge-watched the whole of the first season. Then the second season came out, and I didn’t think they would be able to top the neatly packaged, perfectly paced story line of season one – but they did. The writers of this show are genius. They manage to keep the suspense moving, keep the character development deepening and seem to go bigger and better.

Friday

Reign

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Mary Queen of Scots, fiercely portrayed by the wonderful Adelaide Kane, shows what life was like for the young Queen at French Court, and the short-lived marriage she had with Francis II of France. I originally wanted to watch this show for Anna Popplewell, who played gentile Susan Pevensie from the first two Chronicles of Narnia films, but soon I fell in love with the whole ensemble of characters, from Mary’s ladies in waiting, the Valois family and the nobles at court. And as an already established Tudor fan, this show was just my style.

Saturday

Doctor Who

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Watching Doctor Who on a Saturday is a habit I’ve let slide. When David Tennant and Matt Smith occupied the role I was an avid watcher, and I’m not for one minute saying I don’t like Peter Capaldi. I do like Peter Capaldi as the Doctor. The issue I have is with the content of the show, as some of the science-based narratives often get lost on me, so I prefer to sit down and binge-watch the whole season after it has aired so I can at least remember what happened between each episode, rather than have them weeks apart. I love each Doctor for different reason, and I won’t participate in a who-I-like-better debate because, for me, the Doctor is the Doctor, no matter who’s face he has, and he’s the reason why I still watch the show.

And then we go back to Sunday and do it all again! Let me know in the comments what TV shows you like to watch, and did I miss any out that are on your TV schedule?

Honourable Mentions to Shows Not in Transmission

FRIENDS

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For me, Friends is the mother-ship of TV shows. The best of the best, the cream of the crop, I can put any episode or season of Friends on and laugh my ass off. The characters, their lives, their love of coffee, the New York City apartment life. Everything about this show is perfect. (except for the episode where Joey “speaks” French. I mean REALLY?!)

One Tree Hill

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I missed the boat when the show was airing but I spent a long, long time watching and re-watching this show. I still can’t decide whether I wanted Peyton/Lucas to Brooke/Lucas to be end-game, and it’s something that still keeps me up at night, but maybe that’s the power of a good TV show. It keeps you thinking long after it’s finished.